How to write a Virginia Heffernan article.
Step 1: Isolate popular technology trend.
Step 2: Confess, in a “between-friends” tone, her usage of said technology.
Step 3: Adopt didactic tone and inform readers of their irreversible descent into hell for being suckered by the latest technology.
Step 4: Repeat step 2. Rinse.
Step 5: Adopt “I’m plain folk, just like you my readers, and together we can be confused by technology” tone. Intentionally (?) misconstrue various facts.
Step 6: Explain to aforementioned other plain folk (the readers) exactly what _____ technology can do for you.
Step 7: Repeat step 3. Rinse.
Step 8: Submit to leading newspaper. Watch snarky blogging nobodies spend Sunday deconstructing. Return to step 1.