My head hurts.

Please tell me this was a joke.  Please tell me Peter was having a bit of fun.  Because if this was truly happening the way it looks, you’d be best served to dump your shares in Microsoft.

Name: ________.
Web Site: Microsoft
URL: (
Department: Microsoft Office Product Key
Question: Need to retrieve my key
Peter [10:32]: Welcome to Omnitechsupport’s first 15 Minutes Free chat trial for Microsoft office products.More than 50% of the issues are resolved for free. Many issues might take longer, we will have to charge you to resolve the issue in those cases. I am reviewing your issue now.
Matt [10:32]: Need to retrieve my key
Peter [10:32]: Hi, this is Peter.
Matt [10:33]: hi.
Peter [10:33]: Could you please explain the issue in detail?
Matt [10:33]: I am trying to complete installation of Office on my new notebook, but cannot locate the product key in this installation
[10:34]: Can the product key to end the 30 day trial be retrieved from the installation on this computer?
[10:34]: Hello?
Peter [10:35]: Okay.
[10:35]: DId you download the Office 2007 trial suit?
Matt [10:36]: No, I installed it from a CD
[10:36]: This one. The one on the notebook came pre-installed (the trial suite)
Peter [10:36]: May I know the Office version that you have purchased?
Matt [10:37]: Sorry. I’m on my old notebook; this was installed from CD. The new notebook came pre-installed with a trial version. It’s Office 2007.
Peter [10:39]: May I know the Office suit version on your old Laptop?
Matt [10:39]: I’ve only installed the CD-version of Office 2007 on two machines; I believe I have one more installation coming. Yes, it’s 2007
[10:39]: On both machines.
Peter [10:40]: Do you have Office 2007 Home edition on your old laptop?
Matt [10:40]: Yes.
Peter [10:40]: Thanks for the confirmation.
[10:41]: Do you have the installation CD and product key for the Office 2007 Home edition?
Matt [10:41]: ?? I have the CD, but no product key on the CD that I can see.
[10:41]: I’m asking you how to retrieve the product key.
Peter [10:42]: The product key will be on the installation CD pack on a yellow label.
Matt [10:42]: And if I don’t have the installation CD pack anymore?
Peter [10:43]: Okay, I understand your concern.
Matt [10:43]: I don’t want empathy; I want to access the key
Peter [10:43]: Since, you do not have the product key for installing the Office suit…
[10:44]: You need to contact Microsoft Customer support to get a new product key.
Matt [10:44]: Isn’t that what I’m doing?
Peter [10:44]: We do not have information on product key.
Matt [10:44]: Then why is it listed as an option in the drop-down for initiating this chat?
Peter [10:44]: Let me forward you a link where you can contact Microsoft Customer support.
[10:45]: We can assist you in installing the Office suit only if you have the product key.
Matt [10:45]: Suite. With an e.
[10:45]: Can I have the link?
Peter [10:45]: I will suggest you to contact the Microsoft customer support team to get a new product key.
[10:46]: Please be online while I forward you the link.
Matt [10:46]: Yeah, I’m not waiting past the 15 minute mark so you can charge me.
Peter [10:46]:
ADMIN: Hi, Matt. This is QAE, monitoring the chat.
PeterPlease view the above link.
Matt [10:47]: Hi QAE. This “Help” is embarrassing.
ADMIN: I’m sorry for the inconvinience.
MattI simply want to access the code from my already installed non-trial version so I can complete the installation on my new notebook. Whether or not it can be done without the packaging – i.e., within the software.
[10:48]: And, noting that we’re past 15 minutes, am I going to be cut off? I’m not going to be charged.
[10:49]: Can it or can it not be done?
ADMIN: Matt, you cannot use the trial version product key to install the Office Suite once again.
ADMIN: Let me inform you that each product key are unique and can be used only once.
MattNo. I want to use the product key that I used to install the PURCHASED Office Suite. I was informed that, having purchased it, I’m allowed to install it on three of my machines.
[10:50]: Two down, one to go.
ADMIN: May I know the edition of MS Office you’ve purchased?
MattYes, you may. Peter asked me three or four times. It’s the 2007 edition.
Peter [10:52]: You can install the Office Home edition on three systems
Matt [10:52]: Uh-huh.
[10:53]: But it
[10:53]: ‘s already on the new machine, as a trial version. And I can’t put the CD in, because it’s a netbook. No CD drive.
[10:54]: So, again: Can it be done?
[10:54]: In case you were wondering, it’s the 2007 edition.
[10:54]: On both machines.
[10:54]: Admin, are you still there?
ADMIN: Yes, I’m still online.
MattWhat’s the good word? Can it be done?
ADMIN: Matt, do you’ve other computer with you right now?
Matt [10:56]: Yes.
ADMIN: Open a Word document.
MattOkay, it’s opening.
ADMIN: Click on the “Office button” located on the top left corner of the document.
MattI can’t; it shifted to the Enter Your Product Key window.
[10:58]: Should I ignore that and click through?
ADMIN: Yes, please go ahead.
ADMIN: Next, click “Word Option”.
MattOK, done.
[10:59]: OK, done.
ADMIN: On the navigation pane, click “Resource”.
MattClicked on Resources.
ADMIN: Next, click “About” and check the edition listed over there.
ADMIN: Let me know the edition listed over there.
[11:01]: 2007.
[11:01]: Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007.
ADMIN: Thanks for the confirmation.
Matt [11:02]: Is this a joke? Am I on that new Howie Mandel show?
[11:02]: I’ve told you repeatedly it’s the 2007 edition
ADMIN: Matt, as this is the Home and Student Edition, you can install it in 3 computers.
MattI want to use my product code to make it a regular installation. Howie do it?
[11:03]: I know that.
[11:03]: I told Peter that 20 minutes ago.
ADMIN: Matt, Office 2007 is a Version which has many edition in it.
MattOK. And now you know which edition I have,, right?
[11:04]: Home and Student Edition.
[11:04]: Can it be done?
MattPraise the Lord
[11:04]: Are you going to tell me how?
[11:05]: This doesn’t seem like a 32-minute worthy tech issue.
ADMIN: Sure.
ADMIN: I’m sorry for that.
ADMIN: Matt, can Peter access your old computer and retreive the product key for you?
Matt [11:06]: Make it up to me and resolve the issue.
ADMIN: Sure.
MattNot a chance. I wouldn’t let Peter access my Commodore 64, much less this notebook.
[11:07]: Tell me how to do it.
Peter [11:08]: Okay, let me tell you the steps.
Matt [11:08]: I’m not a “what do you mean click on the start menu” sort of nitwit. I know my way around Windows. I just need to be told how to access it. Okay, Peter, tell me. Quickly.
Peter [11:09]: Sure.
[11:10]: Please install the software “Belarc advisor” on your old laptop, in which you have the Offce Home edition full version.
[11:10]: It will automatically retrieve the product key for the Office suit.
[11:11]: Please note down the product key for the Office suit.
[11:12]: Could you please confirm that you have the Office Home edition trial on your new laptop?
Matt [11:14]: Admin?
Peter [11:14]: If you have the Office Home edition trial already on your new laptop, you can convert it to full version by using the product key.
Matt [11:14]: Admin? Hello?
ADMIN: Yes, I’m still online.
MattPeter’s asking me which edition I have. Again.
[11:15]: Can you tell Peter which edition I have?
ADMIN: I’m sorry for that.
MattDid you tell him? I mean type it for him. Not turn to him and tell him. I want to see you tell him. So I know he’s getting it. I’ve wasted 45 minutes of my day and gotten no useful answer.
ADMIN: Matt, as you’ve the trial version installed on the new computer, then you can convert the trial version into full version once you retreive the product key by installing the bellarc advisor.
Matt [11:18]: Which can be downloaded for free from …?
ADMIN: Yes, it can be downloaded for FREE.
Matt …
ADMIN: Please stay online while Peter provide the link.
PeterLet me forward you the link to download “Belarc Advisor”
Matt [11:20]: Peter, go away. I found the link myself. I don’t see “Trusted by Microsoft” anywhere on that page. What assurance do I have, other than “Peter”, that I’m not downloading a big phisher?
Peter [11:20]: Please click on “Download” to downlad the free software.
Matt [11:20]: Peter.
Peter [11:20]: Matt, you’ve only 2 options.
Matt [11:21]: Will I have 3 if I reveal which edition I have of Office?
Peter [11:22]: Download the “BelArc Advisor” OR contact Microsoft Customer care to get the product key.
[11:22]: Matt, only Home and Student Edition has 3 installaions.
Matt [11:23]: Oh no! I have the 2017 edition! I guess I bought the wrong one, huh? Can I downgrade?
[11:24]: Admin, this is ridiculous
Peter [11:24]: Matt, this is Admin here.
Matt [11:24]: Assuming you’re not just Peter with a different handle
Peter [11:24]: No, I’m different.
Matt [11:25]: This is the part where you come in with a cheap fake moustache and a differentt voice, right? I want to hear from Admin that I’m not getting charged for this debacle
Peter [11:25]: I understand that you’re referring to install Office 2007 Home and Student Edition in the third computer. Am I correct?
Matt [11:26]: Peter, not one more word out of you, you idiot
[11:26]: Admin? Hello
[11:26]: I want to hear from Admin that I’m not getting charged for this debacle
ADMIN: You’ll not be charged for this session.

duration 54:37

End Chat

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3 Replies to “My head hurts.”

  1. The person beside me just asked if I was eating Pop Rocks. I said no, that’s my brain after reading this chat.

    Are you kidding me? You cannot make this up. What, is Microsoft outsourcing its chat help to India?

  2. For what it’s worth, this is one of the funniest tech support conversations I’ve *ever* read. After spending this week dealing with AT&T and Comcast, I’m so happy they never degenerated quite this far.

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