You’ll have to pry my badge from my cold, dead hands.

They buzz like a fridge.

I used to be a member of the squad. I got passionate about apostrophes and gave detailed lectures to my students on dangling participles and semicolons and I really believed them. I once spent a long time telling a class why the difference between "every day" and "everyday" was deeply important. They looked at me like I was nuts (pardon: as if I were nuts). I might even have said something along the lines of, If the only thing you learn this semester is why "every day" is not the same as "everyday," I’ll die happy. Maybe I was nuts.

Somewhere along the line I turned in my badge. What happened? I don’t really know. I think it started with the phrase: I could care less. Technically, of course, it should be I couldn’t care less, but a few years ago I realized I like I could care less better. It’s more carefree, somehow; it sounds like someone tossing her beret aside. I couldn’t care less sounds full of denial, full of thou dost protest too much.

And I began to enjoy seeing misplaced apostrophe’s on menus’ and poster’s.

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